Hii its been a long time huh? Sorry we didnt online this whole month. As you guys know, we got alot of school projects to do…
Apparently, Amber is not on the internet these past weeks :(
So, i guess its just me, FOR NOW.
Uh, bye. Have a good day munchkins :)
Hi there people. Since Amber posted Hannah’s Note about getting bullied and everything, i’ll do the same. Here we go.
Bullying. Nobody likes that crappy word. Some people died because bullying, other’s TRYING to. I hate that. We are human and we are who we are. Apparently, people bullied us when we’re trying our best to BE US. You. Stop right there. You’re beautiful and cutting your wrist wont make things better. It’ll only make you suffer. You will missed the good things in life. Just like they say,
stars cant shine without darkness.
Yes, stay strong. It will get better. Dont make them tell you that you’re worthless little prick. But you’re not. You’re beautiful.
September 15th, 2013.
Hi Alliieeeeee. Im sorry, Im just really busy with all this school stuff. And Ive made a new blog too. Which I only have like 5 followers. Sharing about myself. Im not that interesting, so I only have like 5 followers. Plus, I really wanted to make a book. I tried to make one. But I just cant.
Anyways, Im stressed out, Allie. I really am stressed out. And apparently, YOU, are the first person who I told you about all of this. Ive never even tell the Snow Pumpkins Family aka my little family dolls. Papa Pumpkins Dad just kept staring at the darkness. As if he’s tired too. Tired of being what he’s not. Okay, I have a huge imagination. I know. I also think that Taylor wanted to be a part of Snow Pumpkins Family. Like Rudolph, Bobby, Polly, Jeffy, Becky, and others. But she’s a human. And others are animals.
But seriously, Im stressed out. Ive never tell anyone about this, because Im tired. Im tired of people telling that I should’ve took Option A instead of Option B. Like they’re the best and I only do wrong things.
Okay, maybe I DID do wrong things. Im a rebel. Im a depressed rebel. And no one noticed that. But, I mean, FINE, I did the wrong things. I never did what people do. I did my own thing. I threw myself into a school full a bunch of smart kids just because Im tired of people telling me that Im worthless. Well, actually, my choice—this one—isnt really a wrong thing to do. Okay, maybe I am stressed because my school is full of smart kids who’s way smarter than me, but I always tried to look at the bright side, and I did.
Here’s the bright side I found just yesterday when I was hanging out with my old bffs. Which is still my bffs. Because I recently haven’t fun new bffs. I don’t think no one can replace them. Because they all know my tunes, my hobbies, they all know me. My old bffs Im talking about here is Melissa & Addie.
Well, my other old close friends like Giselle, David, Ashley, and Jade.. they’re doing fine…..Maybe except Dave. And he leads me to the bright side I found: He. Gets. Bullied. I was like, ‘If Dave got turned into a sausage until he cuts his wrists off… WHAT AM I GOING TO BE?’.
I know this is mean, but remember? I cut because of Dave. I have to be perfect for him. He judges a lot. He judges us. He judges everyone. He judges the ‘Ordinary group’ which is us; me, Giselle, dave himself, Ashley, jade, mel, adds, and Ivy. We have to impress him every time because he’s like the leader of the team. He likes to make fun of us. Like he likes to brought up when I liked this guy when I was in the THIRD GRADE. I don’t like when he does that. So I have to keep him occupied with other things. Giselle doesn’t like it when he teased about him and this two guys she was close with. She had in common with. Ivy doesn’t like it when he teased her about her having so much fun with this guy she has in common with. He teases us.
Yesterday, Melissa and Addie told me that Dave was going to suicide. Dave already did cut his wrists off. We three kept wondering if this was something that god send to Dave. For being mean to us in elementary.
Josh. JOSH is the one who teased the hell out of David. He called him gay and all.
It was a cruel world.
It’s almost like love.
If you don’t play it right and carefully, You’ll die in your own tears. Tears of depression and sadness. I know Im twelve and im not old enough to tell things about love, but, Ive saw and heard things.
Today, for being the ‘caring’ one, I stalked David. I tweeted him. I commented things on his Instagram. I posted a picture showing my old cuts. He sent me back a picture of his arms. It was horrible. He’s a guy and he was more broken than me.
I don’t know, but I just couldn’t help myself to be the caring one. Sometimes, I just don’t show my ‘care’-ness because Im tired of getting judge. I care about every single thing. I care about people’s feelings. That’s why Im just too quiet to talk infront of new people because Im afraid I’ll offend them about what I said. And guess what? I care about what my former bully is feeling right now.
Don’t tell anyone, because if Armand find this diary, he’ll kill me with his words. Just with his words. No, I don’t have a crush on David, but… I saw something from this case.
We have a same case. I cut, because I was sad. So did he. I cried myself to sleep, because of people telling me Im worthless. So did he. Its just, he shared it with the world, and I don’t. I kept my mouth shut. Well, Im hoping that someone could help him. I wish I could. But, I couldn’t risk my whole dignity. I
don’t even have any dignity anymore. I lost it when I performed in Art Festival last Graduation.
The day I started cutting again. I also lost it again when I was hacked. Again, Jack, he stole my dignity. And crashed it in his ugly hands. He should really get over himself.
He think he’s classy, but he’s not. He’s uneducated.
AHA! THAT’S ANOTHER BRIGHT SIDE of taking risk of throwing myself to a smart school full of smart kids. I wont have to see him until the rest of my life.
My old school, is full of classy people. Sometimes, I prayed for my friend to stay alive until they graduate middle school. I don’t want them to get squished by ungrateful snotty rich rats.
Even my cousin said that. My cousin’s already married. Like, a young couple. Have two beautiful son. Another is old enough to walk. And another is old enough to talk and walk and impress people. Anyways, she said to me, “Oh? You moved? To what school?” I then answered. She then asked what’s the difference between my old and new school. I answered it and then she goes like, “Yeah. I know. I agree. All my friends who puts their children in your old school, is richly snotty.” Even though my cousin’s husband’s surprisingly rich, she still said that. I mean, come on, she has an iPad 2 just for her kids. Her house is huge and has a beautiful car. Its more than enough and she still said that.
God, I feel blessed.
Anyways, Im gonna watch the tv with my mom. And maybe chuck a sickie because I don’t want to go to school tomorrow.
Wish me luck!
Love, Hannah the stressed girl who just wrote a depression diary. xx
Hi fellow people on the internet! Its Melissa here. I’m sory that I didnt post anything these past weeks. Why? Blame homeworks ugh. Lol so I gotta go. And if its morning in your country, good morning and enjoy your day! But if its night like in my country, then goodnight and sweet dreams. :)
Yes. Having alot of friends is one of THE best feelings in the world.
Why? Because you wont feel lonely.
They’ll be by your side when you’re having a dark time, and well maybe, when you cried.
But picking a friends is not that simple.
You have to take the good part from them, and throw the bad things away.
But once you’re smart on picking friends, your life will be like a blooming flower. 🙈
Have you guys ever just feel like you are watching something with your earphone on and because the sound is too little you turn up the volume but then suddenly the person or anything you are watching let out a VERY loud sound and it feels like you just heard a bomb has been dropped RIGHT in front your fudging ear? Lol because that just happened to me .__.
Hi guys! Melissa here. I am going to talk about Disneyland and Universal Studio since I dont know what to write hehe. :)
Okay, lets start with Disneyland.
Disneyland is like the place where my childhood was made. The first Disneyland that I visited is on Hong Kong aka Hong Kong Disneyland. I was umm… Maybe 6 years old. There are alot of games there. Start of with a simple Pirates of the Carribean treehouse, until Space Mountain. But, because I was 6 years old that day, I didn’t really enjoyed the games until I visited Disneyland Paris. My mom said that Disneyland Paris is one of the biggest Disneyland in the world and that is when I told her that I cant wait to go there. Yes, she is true. It is VERY BIG. The place wasn’t really crowded that time because it was on November. So the tempreture is below 12 degrees. Sadly, I actually didn’t enjoy it much again :((. The only thing that made me didn’t enjoy it, its because the games I wanted to ride always took atleast an hour to queue and because its cold… BRRR. I am too lazy to queue. But anyways, Disneyland rocks. I hope I could go there next summer. Now lets talk about Universal!
The first and the last but not least Universal Studio I’ve visited is on Sentosa, Singapore. The place isn’t that big but the games… I REALLY FRICKIN LOVE THE GAMES. I even spare my time to rode some kids games. But my most favorite game there is Transformer the ride or Revenge of the Mummy. I cant choose between those two. The second time I went there, I started to think that Universal served games that is actually fit for teenagers and adults more (in my opinion). But of course they have some ride that are available for youth. So, if I have to choose between Disneyland and Universal, I am going to pick Universal eventough I LOVE Disneyland also. ❤
I guess that is the end of my writing and thanks for reading! xx
- Summer’s POV -
"Bridgit? Im scared" I said, holding her hand.
"Lollipop, its easy" she said, "Just, I’ll never leave you alone. Remember each other’s mask"
I nodded as we walked to some sort of man, collecting our invitations. I’m not a wordy girl. I dont know what he’s called. We then walked to the building and I nearly fainted. It’s like almost all of them are strangers. Maybe because we’re wearing masks. I can recognize some people because Its just mask, duh. But, I cant recognize like 70% of them. Holy fucking shmolly. Maybe I can recognize Heather. I saw her. and I noticed her mask. But Idk.
"I’m scared" I whispered to Bridgit who was beside me.
"You’re scared?" A kind of deep voiced asked. Holly shit. It’s not her.
"Woah, you’re not-"
"You’re creepy. Get lost" I said.
"But, I- I.." he said. His blue eyes was kinda sparkling. Because of the lights. Dont get me wrong, I dont know this guy. But, his eyes was really shining. As I said, because of the lights.
Someone then tapped his shoulder. Dark hair, dark eyes, he looked cute. Kinda. Except he covered half of his face.
"Woah, I thought you said mask are for gays?" The blue eyes one asked.
"No, I realized It looked hot on me" he said. I was going to walk away but then the brown hair asked, "Who’s this?"
"THIS, is my date tonight" The blue eyes / blondie grabbed my hands.
"No, we just met" I snapped and stepped on his foot really hard with my high heels. Blondie cringed and shouted some "OOOWW"
The brunette laughed, “Why dont you come with me, love?”
"I would love to," I said, "You’re creepy, blondie"
"Is he not creepy too?!" Blondie was upset. And just yelled on my face.
"But, he’s cute" I said. The brunette then smirked and grabbed me on the waist and took me to grab a drink.
"NO, WAIT!" I think.. Blondie yelled that. I sighed. Brunette then asked my interests. From Mirrors into One Direction. I said I love Louis Tomlinson. I mean, he’s my fave.
"What’s your name?" I suddenly asked.
"I dont know. What’s yours?" He asked. What’s that supposed to mean?
"What do you mean? I mean, I wont tell mine If you dont even know yours" I said.
"I know my name. Its just.. you wont like me back if I told you my name" He bit his lips and gripped his hands in my waist.
"Like that’s possible" I said. I then accidentally moved my head a little to the right and saw some random curly headed boy waved at me and pointed to my prince charming. Yeah, that’s what I call him.
"Someone’s calling you" I said. He then squeezed his eyes shut.
"Shit’ He cursed, "I’ll be right back fast. You, stay here"
"I will" I smiled to him as he walked by. I just wish I could know his name. I need his name. I cant call him prince charming everytime. Not that I dont like him, because I do want him to be my prince charming.
Someone then grabbed my hand fast and made me spill my drink and the glass too. What the hell.
"What the- dude?!" I shouted after I saw that It was the blonde guy who drag my arms.
"Oh hey you guys!" A high noted voice said. She was in a beautiful expensive looking black dress and black and silver masks that matches her dress, "Enjoying the time?"
"Yeah, Candace. Totally" Blondie said. Holly crap It’s the party owner. Candace then looked to me.
"Happy Birthday" I smiled, "I love your dress, by the way"
"Thank you. Oh, I remember you, you’re with Bridgit yesterday right?" She asked. I grinned and nodded. Blondie then have this ‘confused’ face. But, at the end, he just let it go. She then asked, "You two dating?"
"Just for tonight" Blondie cut me off and wrapped his arm around my waist, dragging me closer to him. I fake smiled, at least in front of Candace I have a date.
"Yeah," I smiled at the blonde guy.
"Oh well, you’re a lucky girl" She grinned and walked away. CANDACE IS REALLY NICE. I want more popular girls like her.
After I realized Candace was really gone, I smacked the guy’s arm and step again on his foot.
"Oh come on!" He shouted. I then realized Candace turned her head. I just shrugged and grinned awkwardly at her. She giggled a little and hang back with her friends.
"Why me?" I asked to him.
"Ask god" he said. I gave him the look. He sighed, "I was walking to my friend, that dark haired boy, and then I heard you said "I’m scared". And I was going to comfort you, but he cut me off. And I get threatened that he’ll take you away so I said you were my date. But, then-"
"I walked away with him" I continued him and leaned in. He nodded and stared at me in the eyes. I wrapped my arms around his neck, "Thank goodness. I thought you stalked me"
He grinned, “That made me realized that I dont know your name”
I shook my head and told him that Im keeping my name as a secret. He kind of disappointed. and tried to ask my number too. I just laughed and ignored him.
"Why would you get threaten anyway?" I asked.
"He always wins over everything. Girls, Voices, Hair, Look-"
"Okay stop" I said, "Just shut up and kiss me"
He winked at me and then leaned in and landed his lips on mine. I was rather shocked that I said those words. I mean, after my ex boyfriend, Sam, broke me up two months ago, I dont know what to do with boys. Realizing they never see me.
"B-but, what if he see me?" I asked.
"Nah, he asked Heather out" He said, "Oh, I mean, a girl named Heather. You probably wont know her. Or, maybe you do. If.. you go to the same school as mine….I wish you do"
My expression fell. Heather?
"H-heather with the blonde hair? a-and and br-brown eyes? Tall?" I asked.
"Oh my god, you know her. You do go to the same school as mine!" He said.
"W-was h-he Liam Payne?" I asked. First guess.
"Wh- No? It’s Z-"
"ZAYN MALIK" I gasped really hard. I automatically remembered Natasha and Natalie. Zayn is Nat’s fave. While Natasha’s fave is Harry. A-and.. Blonde hair, Blue eyes, sweet grin? Niall Fucking Horan. Oh shittt.
"A-are you okay, love?" He asked. I put his hands who were on my waist down. I- Im gonna be in so much trouble if the twins know about this. MAJOR trouble.
"I-i uh- I-" I turned around and see Zayn looking at me. Maybe because I just said his name so loud.
Oh crap, wait. Behind him. Two girls in purple dress. They’re all giving me death glares. I dont think they recognize who I am but I’m still scared. I think they’re jealous.
"C-curfew" I said quickly and then ran away from Niall. Accidentally tripped over Zayn but I still ran away.
Oh I am going to be in so much trouble.
After 2 hours taking a nap, I heard a light knock on my bedroom door.
“Quinn, hurry up!! We’re getting late!” Said a familiar voice. It was Sam.
“Ok, I’ll be ready in 5 minutes!!” I rushed.
“Kay Quinn… But, hurry up!!”
I changed my top to a skirt that fell 5 inches above my knees. Boys would love that. Since i only got 5 minutes, I put on some make up. I was trying to look as natural as i can. And then i brush my hair. Done, ready for my first date with Sam!
“We can go now Sam” I said.
“Wow, you look gorgeous” He blushed looking from my head down to my toes.
“Thanks Sam” I kissed his cheek.
We walked to Sam’s car.
“Here it is ;)” Sam said. I open the car door. We arrived there (BreadStiX) at 8.
"You are… Mr.Evans aren’t ya?" The waiter open some book and then glanced his eyes to us. I guess Sam already ordered a place.
"Yes i am." Sam smiled.
The waiter led us to our table and gave us two menus. I ordered a spaggetini—looks like spaghetti but a little smaller and an ice tea. In the other side, Sam ordered a pizza to share and an ice tea.
“Sorry for the make ups. Terrible, huh” i said.
“I like girls more with an natural look actually…” Said Sam. Suddenly, i felt myself blushing.
“Did i just blushed?” i asked touching my two red cheeks. He nodded. Oh my gosh.
Ten minutes later, my food arrived. We talked about how insane the kids in our school and so much more until my stomach hurts.
“Sam, im going to the restroom.. Stay awesome okay?” I grinned raising my thumbs up.
In the restroom, my stomach got really hurt.
“What happen to me?” After for about 15 minutes, my stomach feel a little better.
“Oh well, maybe it just because I ate to much breakfast this morning” I smiled.
“Hey Sam!” I said.
“Are you ok? Cause you’re like about 15 minutes in the restroom. Do you need anything?” He asked worilly.
“Yeah, I’m fine :)”
3 days later, my stomach STILL hurt. Omg.
“Gosh!! Whats wrong with me?!” I whispered angrily to myself. I looked up for some information at google. And then my jaws drop. I didnt believe this. Some of the informations said it means a women is pregnant. I fell into my knees dont know what to do. I’m still a 16 years old teenagers.
“Quinn?” Sam whispered.
“Sam, i-i think im pregnant.”
“WHATTTT” Sam grabbed my hand then he led me to the car.
“We are going to the doctor.” Said Sam rushing.
We arrived at the hospital and asked the doctor to check if this is true or not. I was crossing my fingers hoping this isnt true. But sadly, i was wrong. It is true.
“Wow… I guess congrats Quinn. Who’s the father? We didnt even have s– yet.” Sam face looked confuse.
“Its Puck. I did it with him.” I said crying on his shoulder.
So this is the last part! Thank you so much for reading! It was kinda hard to make… But once again, thank you. We love you. xx